Let’s talk ABOUT Domestic Violence
“But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.”
What is the meaning of the term domestic violence?
Domestic abuse, also known as domestic violence or intimate partner violence, is when a victim has a close relationship with the offender. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner, a child, a close relative, or other household members. This type of abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships, including couples who are married, living together, or simply dating. It can affect people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Domestic abuse can be mental, emotional, physical, economic, or sexual. It can also be threats of actions that influence another person, which includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Incidents are rarely isolated and usually escalate in frequency and severity. Domestic abuse may culminate in serious physical injury or death. No one deserves to be abused. Victims should know that it's not their fault! They are not alone!
Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them are the most apparent forms of domestic abuse and violence which are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem.
recognizing signs of abuse
Look over the following questions to think about how you are being treated or how you treat your partner.
Does your partner…
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
Do they put down your accomplishments?
Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
Tell you that you are nothing without them?
Do they grab, push, pinch, shove, or hit you?
Do they call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
Blame you for how they feel or act?
Pressure you sexually for things you're not willing to do?
Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or they leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson"?
Do you..
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you change something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you're afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
If any of these things are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without help, the abuse will continue. Making that first call to seek help is a courageous step.
Always remember…
NO ONE deserves to be abused.
IT'S NOT your fault. You are not alone.
DON’T worry about threats to your visa. We have information about visa options for your situation.
DON’T worry if you do not speak the local language. We can get you help in many Languages.
ways to help
How can you help victims of domestic abuse?
Listen and believe the abused person to let them know they are not alone.
Encourage them to seek support through a confidential hotline to connect with a professional in the field. Express concern for them, show support and offer referrals to available resources. If you have not been directly approached but have reason to believe that a colleague may be in an abusive relationship. Please keep in mind that a survivor often makes several attempts to leave the abusive relationship before succeeding.
For Abusive Partner - Are You An Abuser?
If you recognize that you are mistreating your partner, there may be resources in your community to help you. One resource is the national domestic violence hotline. The advice and information they provide may be utilized no matter where you live. Understand that domestic abuse is against the law, and you may be subject to criminal prosecution under the applicable laws, where you live.
LET'S DO SOMETHING!
Too many people have died unnecessarily by not calling for help or not leaving an abusive situation. Domestic violence has become the #1 reason for the murder cases in Pierce County alone. It must be stopped! We can do this through prayer and awareness.
There is help available now for victims of domestic violence or abuse. Please do not hesitate to contact us or other resources (listed below) available for help.
SOURCES
The National Domestic Violence Hotline; 800-799-7233 (SAFE), SMS> Text. START to 88788
Our Sister’s House—(Social Services Organization)
708 Broadway St.
Tacoma, Wa. (Closes at 5 pm)
(Resources & Counseling Help)
Crystal Judson Family Justice Center
718 Court E
Domestic Abuse treatment Center-
(This facility saves Lives & helps Survivors thru it all)
Break the Cycle (www.breakthecycle.org)
Futures Without Violence (www.futureswithoutviolence.org)
Love is Respect (1-866-331-9474)
National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-HOPE( 4673)
Prevent Connect (www.preventconnect.org)
That’s Not Cool (www.thatsnotcool.com)
Source: Developed by DomesticAbuser Intervention Project, Duluth, MN at www.theduluthmodel.org
Prepared by Adriene Tillman & Dr. Queen Ilunga, RN
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